good news!

Ting Ting is pregnant... Im gona be an Aunt soon.
And Im gona be an Aunt of TWINS!
I hope everything will turn out will... Its not easy bearing two babies at once..
Extra TLC needed

But everyone is really glad...
Dad will be looking down, protecting them and everyone..
He must given a gift to us... so we wont be sad...
Bring us an extra member to fill his space...

But i really wish he could be around to experience all this.... with us...

addicted

Im so loving this author now..
I have finished reading all.. now im on the last book of this vampire series. There are in total 4 books..

Breaking Dawn being the ending book for the series..
however i read somewhere there will be another one coming.. "Midnight Sun" i think..

In addition, the movie "Twilight" will be out in Nov/ Dec. Not in Singapore yet..
It better be showing here.. lol

“Does anybody really know when it’s right?
And how do you know – are there signs?

Fireworks?
Is it right when it feels comfortable or is comfortable a sign that there’s no fireworks?
Is hesitation a sign that it’s not right, or is it just a sign that you’re not ready?
In matters of love how do you know when it’s right?”

-Carrie Bradshaw

hiaz... sigh

Your horoscope for August 16, 2008:
Here is a day that might be a little rough for CAROL. It's as if reality were waiting to trip you up. Nothing about you is realistic. So if you're still a bit of a child or irresponsible today may be rather hard on you. It's nothing serious, so don't worry. However, if you feel as though your back is to the wall, don't react. Try to calmly accept what is happening to you...

Something must go wrong.. No matter wat i do
Trying hard to be good is tough..
Cos im just me, But being me may not work out the way they wan..

I need to care more about pple..
But im not.. im aloof, i must say..
Insensitive...maybe
But i nvr mean it..
maybe i just care too much for myself?
I dunno really...
it sucks..
____________________________________________

The weekend always ends so abruptly
It makes me feel sad to be going back to the office..
Working is ok.. not that bad..
But staying at home, doing my own stuff, with so much freedom is much more atttractive den sitting in the office with people around u.

sometimes i love to be alone... (above paragrapgh)
And sometimes i love the crowd.. (below)

I love the beach!
Im glad we made it to Sentosa yesterday. At least my off day had not gone to waste.
The sun, the sand and the sea.. with beautiful tanned people everywhere..
At least im geeting a workout playing volly..
too much time spent siting in the office is doing no good! =)

the working life...

Tonight i had my appraisal talk...
It went pretty well. I guess my performance met their standards BUt of cos there are more to improve.
Anyway im glad that is over.
Wasn't very nervous cos i didnt know it was coming that fast. I thought there will be some email or something..

But gotta motivate myself more...
Im getting the hang of things at work. Working for a newspaper is so much different from just deign house design.. so many factors to consider.
So little time to execute ideas.. its crazy
But im still slow.. But i guess after some time will be doing stuff faster

I gotta ask for help if time is running out.
Its weird if u think.... is asking for help equal to u being inefficient.
But if u dun ask.. its also not right.
Cant please everyone i guess!

I guess at work u hve to face many different pple.. getting so many opinions..
Its frustrating when they are eyeing on every thing u do.. especially mistakes
But anyway, life goes on... It wont kill me.. so breathe!

The olympics is the hottest event now... espically swimming!

he's famous!






Young! Rich now i guess... with the gold medals he got.. And beautiful body!
On top of that, he's really awesome in the water! I haven seen someone swim so fast. Turbo kicks! Cool!

Im gona carry on with my Stephenie Meyer's "bedtime story". Im addicted to the series.. On the 3rd book now, "Eclipse". I love vampire stories... something so not reality. Another world...

fed up.....

Its weird...
the person who u are with is supposed to understand you the most..
U are supposed to be happy to be together..
Why sometimes it gets so difficult

Sometimes its ur own self esteem that is destroying u..
U dun trust urself.. u dun trust ur partner..
u dun trust the r/ship..

I've done nothing to decieve...
I've done what every gf should do and even more

Why do i get shit just because i went to meet a good fren who's having some problems in life..

U aren't there when im feeling down..
I was ok.. cos im strong..
i dun depend on a guy for anything.. cos they cant be depend on..
SERIOUSLY!

So why get so worked up over me going out...
Say nasty things.. Which i thought im ok with
But the words keep ringing my ears now..

Saying Im self-centered...
and dun care about my family members
Dun say i dun care about my dad
what have i done to deserve ur nasty words..

Ive frens telling me to be happy and be myself
Dun change cos that will make u unhappy...
Im glad ive great pple who love me for who i am.

its not easy

Its been a month and 2 weeks since dad left...
Its the 1st time i decided to write something

I got worried because when i saw the picture we took during graduation... and i suddenly felt that he looks so unfamiliar. So different
Im worried im losing bits and pieces of what i can remember of him
And i dun wan that to ever happen
i feel so far away from him...

Somethings i got feelings i wana say.. but i cant express them out exactly how i feel
Nobody understands and i dun blame anyone

I have so much things i wana tell him.
I wana tell him about work, my new office, my boss and colleagues
I wana hear his advice on stuff...
I wana hear his voice again, his reply when i call him "papa..."

I know its wonderful that now he's not suffering.
He's well again, happy wherever he is now.. looking down at us
its easy to say but hard to accept the fact that he isnt around in my life..
The memories stopped the day he left..
What we have now were only the past..
There are still so many stuff we haven't have the time to do together...

i remembered, one day he said, " Come sit down here and chat with me..."
its the 1st time i heard him say something like that..
there were times i feel as a Dad, though he always wana be the pillar of support in the family, he does feel weak and helpless
But at times like that, i could feel the helplessness and sadness that he had to depend on us to look after when he was so weak he couldn't walk without our help

I know my mum will be feeling ten thousand worst than me, even though she nvr mention anything
I just hope she'll be strong

He was a very sweet dad
he nvr forgets my birthday. Without fail every year he will get a little gift for me.
The year he got retrenched, he was really down but he still bought me a white gold necklace with blue crystal on my birthday
That bday i cried.. i dunno why.. but i cried

Im glad he left peaceful in his sleep..
he was a strong man who endure the pain and torture

But the silly me, still wish i could see him walk in from the door, like before, like he nvr left